The Adventures of Vegeta and Nappa, a Handsome Bastard and an Idiot
by Obscuruptus
Summary: (To be clear this is the TeamFourStar Dragon Ball Z) Vegeta is fed up with Kakarot and his pals so he's gone off to blow off some steam... again. But this time he goes to a friend he hasn't seen in years, Nappa! Now their going to different worlds, meeting interesting people and having just plain old fun.
1. The Begining of an Adventure

**The Following is a Fanfiction series of a Fan Based Parody Dragonball, Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama. Dragon Ball Z Abridged is owned by Team Four Star. Please support the official releases.**

It was a peaceful morning on planet Earth. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, everything was just peaceful.

"I'm gonna f**king kill you, Krillin!" Someone shouted.

"I said I was sorry!" Someone else shouted.

Never mind... on the surface a tiny bald man was being chased by another man with the weirdest hair. The chaser was Vegeta, a saiyan and the prince of them although the species is practically endangered since he's one of the only remaining Saiyans left. The chasee was Krillin, a pathetic young man who always seems to get owned or killed, he's a walking bad luck magnet.

"Please, Vegeta I didn't mean to almost cut you in half, I thought you were just some weird creepy bad guy!" Krillin shouted.

"That's it! I'm killing you twice!" Vegeta shouted.

"That's impossible!" Krillin shouted back.

"Nothing's impossible!" Vegeta shouted at the top of his lungs

Krillin eventually ran into a tree, which knocked down a bunch of other trees which fell on a car.

"Oops. Sorry!" Krillin shouted.

At that moment a boot was thrown at him and hit him in the face

**Krillin Owned Count: 32**

Krillin held his head in pain and then was grabbed by the neck by Vegeta.

"Whoa, whoa!" Someone shouted and landed between the two.

It was Goku, A saiyan that was raised on earth, he's pretty stupid.

"Vegeta, Krillin? What's going on here?" He asked.

"Your bastard of a friend tried to kill me!" Vegeta shouted in anger.

"What? Is this true? How dare you try to kill one of my friends!" Goku shouted in disappointment.

"It wasn't on purpose. I thought I saw some bad person try to jump me so I fired my Destructo Disk at him and it just so happened to be Vegeta." Krillin tried to explain.

"Oh... That makes a lot more sense." Goku said with a smile.

"No it doesn't! He almost killed me I'm just returning the favor!" Vegeta shouted ready to pounce on Krillin.

"Vegeta! Calm down! Your acting like a stupid kid." The saiyan from earth said.

"Am not!" Vegeta shouted while sticking his tongue out.

"Vegeta, apollogize to Krillin for trying to kill him." Goku said with an angry look.

"You know what? F**k you guys, F**k you to hell, F**k you to damnation, Just... F**K YOU!" Vegeta shouted and flew off in a fit of rage.

"Is he coming back?" Krillin asked.

"Probably not, last time he did this it took five months for him to come back." Goku said.

"Phew, what a relief." Krillin said wiping sweat off his forehead... which hit a squirrel on a tree and it started to bite his head.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Krillin shouted while running back and forth like a madman.

**Krillin Owned Count: 33**

* * *

Vegeta flew into a back alley of one of the cities and kicked a trash can.

_Those guys just piss me off so much. Especially Kakarot! Sometimes I wonder why I bother with those idiots anyway?! _Vegeta thought to himself.

He walked around a bit venting his anger when he saw a poster of a movie called 'Citizen Nappa'

_Nappa. _Vegeta thought and flashbacks of them going to the bug planet, fighting Kakarot and his friends and when he killed Nappa out of sheer anger.

"Eh... What the hell... Been a while since I've heard something stupid come out of his mouth." He said taking off towards Hollywood.

* * *

"Alright, guys!" Nappa said. He was in a meeting with a bunch of producers,

"The success of Citizen Nappa has shown me that people who see anything, even if it's already been done. So, what have you got?"

"How about, The Nappatrix?" One man said.

"Sounds complicated. Hope it doesn't have outdated effects." Nappa said turning down the idea.

"The Nappa Age?" Another producer proposed.

"No, we already have four movies in that series, it would get redundant if we made another one." Nappa declared.

"I know, let's do... The Nappator!" A third producer shouted.

"That sounds exciting! Let's do that!" Nappa said pounding his fist on the desk causing it to break,

"Oops, did it again."

Suddenly a knock came at the door.

"Sorry your too late a pitch has already been done." Nappa said opening the door suddenly seeing someone he hadn't seen in a long time,

"Vegeta!"

"Hi, Nappa." The prince of Saiyans said crossing his arms and subsequently getting hugged by Nappa.

"Oh it's been so long since I've seen you, you haven't changed in the slightest!" The dumb saiyan said squeezing his friend.

"Yeah well... Something might change if you don't... let me go." Vegeta said trying to breathe.

Nappa then realized his friend was turning blue and then let him go,

"Sorry, Vegeta."

He then turned to his other producers,

"Well what are you waiting for? Go make that movie!"

At that moment the producers ran off leaving a trail of smoke.

"So, what brings you here?" Nappa asked sitting down.

"It's Kakarot and his idiot bald friend." Vegeta answered sitting down,

"They're driving me insane with their idiotness."

"Really?" His friend asked getting out a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, Krillin almost cut me in half, that idiot." The prince grumbled getting some coffee as well,

"I need time away from that band of buffoons."

"And you came to me to chill out?" Nappa asked drinking some coffee.

"Well I'm defintiely not going to Raditz." Vegeta said drinking more coffee.

Meanwhile with Raditz.

"I. HATE. ALL. OF. YOU." Raditz grumbled.

Back to Vegeta and Nappa

"Well Vegeta, you've come to the right place. I've dreamed of this and I'm gonna show you something." Nappa said leading Vegeta outside to a storage warehouse.

"Your gonna get me to pick up junk from this giant shed?" Vegeta asked.

"No, we're gonna go on an adventure." Nappa said and opened the big gate revealing... Vegeta and Nappa's space pods.

"I've kept them hidden here ever since I came back to life. Pretty neat huh?" The lovable Nappa asked.

Vegeta went over and knocked on them a couple times,

"Feels just like yesterday I saw these things. Okay Nappa, what do you have planned?" Vegeta asked as he and Nappa got into their respective space pods.

"You'll see." Nappa smirked as both pods took off into space. 

* * *

**Cue Intro**

_Vegeta and Nappa, Saiyans in Space. The prince of the Saiyans had enough of Kakarot and his friends so he went to his old to make some mends, Nappa took him on an adventure in space, now their going world to world without loosing any pace. The Adventures of Vegeta and Nappa, a handsome bastard... and an idiot._


	2. Musical Bodyguards

_Vegeta and Nappa, Saiyans in Space. The prince of the Saiyans had enough of Kakarot and his friends so he went to his old to make some mends, Nappa took him on an adventure in space, now their going world to world without loosing any pace. The Adventures of Vegeta and Nappa, a handsome bastard... and an idiot._

* * *

Deep in the bowels of space two space pods fly through it without a delay. Inside these pods were Vegeta, the Prince of the Saiyans, and Nappa, his idiot partner. Vegeta Had gotten into a huge fight with his friends Krillin and Goku and now he is going through an adventure in space with his his old partner on an adventure. Let us watch as the scene unfolds.

"Nappa, we've been flying for hours when is this 'adventure' of yours going to happen?!" Vegeta shouted impatiently.

"Alright, alright." Nappa said getting annoyed by Vegeta's constant asking,

"Here's the adventure."

The space pods stopped and Nappa's pod fired some kind of laser which opened some kind of portal.

"A portal, huh? Where does it lead to?" Vegeta asked.

"Anywhere we want. I upgraded our space pods to fire these portals. They can teleport us to anywhere in time and space." Nappa said getting excited,

"It's my dream come true."

"Yes, mine too. Maybe I'll find a Nappa that doesn't have the brain of small child." Vegeta poked fun at Nappa.

"Oh yeah I bet... wait a minute. Hey!" Nappa shouted angry.

Vegeta chuckled a bit and then said,

"Let's just get on with this."

"Adventure, HO!" Nappa shouted as the space pods went through the portal.

watch?v=OokBFJDvuTc

* * *

The portal opened up somewhere as the space pods landed in a ditch somewhere and by land I mean crash into ditch.

"We're here!" Nappa shouted in excitement as both space pods opened and the saiyans gazed upon the new dimension. It didn't look very hi-tech, in fact it looked like a basic city.

"Five seconds in and I'm already bored, can we go now?" Vegeta asked not wanting to stay in this boring world anymore.

"Vegeta, you just got here, you can't be bored already." Nappa whined,

"We have to stay for a while."

"No, this world doesn't look interesting in the slightest. Almost as generic as a suburb." Vegeta argued.

"Come on, Vegeta. Please?" Nappa asked.

"No." Vegeta answered.

"Please?" Nappa asked again.

"No!" Vegeta shouted.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSEEEEEEEEE!" Vegeta whined.

"Alright, alright already!" Vegeta shouted covering his ears,

"We'll stay. For god's sake you could make an entire city go deaf with that voice of yours!"

"Yay!" Nappa shouted and took off flying as Vegeta flew behind him.

_Let's hope this world doesn't end up boring me anymore. _Vegeta thought.

* * *

As Nappa and Vegeta explored the world the saiyan prince was actually getting more and more bored as time passed by. In fact he got so bored he closed his eyes to fly blind just to show he could.

"What'cha doing?" Nappa asked.

"Flying with my eyes closed. What the hell does it look like?" Vegeta snarked back.

At that moment as Vegeta was flying he flew right into a giant sign and crashed into it. He slided down it and fell onto the ground.

"Vegeta! You alright?!" Nappa shouted.

"I'll be fine. Once I blast the ignorant shithead who decided to attack me!" Vegeta shouted as he prepared to fire a blast as he opened his eyes and realized he was attacked by a sign,

"... This never happened? Got it?!"

"Got what?" Nappa asked.

"Good." Vegeta smirked.

The saiyan prince got up on his feet and actually took the time to see what the sign was. It showed two girls, clearly from japanese origin, what with their appearance and all. The girl on the right had pink hair, white boots, a yellow dress and a flower in her hair while the girl on the left had blue hair, a neck brace, wrist braces, black boots and a shirt with a skull on it that appeared to be 'smiling'. The words said 'Live: PuffyAmiYumi, Tickets: $4.00.'

"What kind of ridiculous name is PuffyAmiYumi?" Vegeta asked.

"Well our names are ridiculous." Nappa said smiling.

"At least our names don't make you go 'what the f**k.' seriously PuffyAmiYumi?" Vegeta said still ticked off by the name of the band.

"Well since there's not a lot of exciting things happening why don't we see the show?" Nappa proposed.

"... Fine, at least it will be something to do." Vegeta said as they approached the stadium where the show was taking place.

When they approached the ticker counter Nappa placed eight bucks on the counter and said,

"Two tickets please."

The ticket guy then got out two tickets and handed it to them,

"You fellas sure picked the right band to listen to."

"Hmph. Whatever." Vegeta said going inside the stadium.

"Don't mind him, he's a grumpy pants." Nappa said following after Vegeta.

* * *

Vegeta and Nappa made their way to the stage as they saw a whole bunch of people cheering and clapping for PuffyAmiYumi to appear.

"Look at all these people. Wasting their money on a pop band. It's probably going to be terrible yet they'll be blind to it and actually love it." Vegeta commented.

"Like Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black." Nappa referenced.

"**Exactly **like Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black." Vegeta emphasized,

"They're lucky I'm not at their concerts or I'd blast them to the f**king moon."

The lights started to dim and on the stage appeared the girls from the sign with instruments.

The pink girl spoke first,

"Hello, Chicago! We're Puffy AmiYumi!"

"Hope your ready for a rocking time!" The blue girl shouted making a peace sign.

Then they started to play a song.

watch?v=9PQPg8aF2jk#t=16

"Doko made yuku no da nukarun da michi da, Yogoreru dake janai no da, Sensei no itteita took to chigau you da, Saishuu ressha toozakaru. Aseru karamawaru ikidzumaru,

Soto wa kurai no ni asa ga kuru, Asobou akireru hodo ni, Asobou nandemo aru sekai, Asobou te hanasu mae ni, Koko made oitsuke yo asobou.

(**English translation: ** Such a muddy road: how far does it go? You not only get dirty but the teacher's directions were different and the last train gets further. Rushing around and around and then stuck. It's still dark out but morning comes. Let's play until it's disgusting. Let's play in a world that has everything. Let's play before you let it go. Come and catch me here: let's play.)

As the band played Nappa was dancing to the beat while Vegeta had a shocked look. Their singing... it was actually... good. Great, even. A lot better than the music he usually listened to.

"Bet your regretting your previous words now." Nappa smiled.

"Gah! It's... It's better than I thought I'll give it that." Vegeta frowned crossing his arms.

Then after a pause they began to sing again,

"Donut no ana kara nozoita keshiki wa. Hitori bocchi dokudzuku. Tayori ni sareteru koto mo nai mitai. Uso wo tukareru hodo jya. Yuganda rail ni kidzukanai. Anata wo matazu saki ni iku yo. Asobou yaritai you ni. Asobou ade wo nagashite. Asobou ikiteru uchi ni. Isoi de oikose yo asobou. Asobou!"

(The view through a donut hole. Alone, a curse I don't seem to be trusted. Since I get jerked around. You don't notice that the rails are twisted. I'm not waiting for you, I'll leave now. Let's play the way I like to. Let's play and get sweaty. Let's play while you're alive. Come and catch me quick: let's play. Let's Play!)

As the song came to a close the entire crowd clapped and cheered along with Nappa, even Vegeta clapped but only for a bit.

_Maybe they're not as bad as I thought. _Vegeta thought to himself.

"Thank you, Chicago." The pink girl said with a smile.

"You guys are great!" The blue girl shouted smiling as well as both girls got off the stage.

* * *

"Told you we'd have a good time." Nappa said as they exited.

"No you didn't. But I admit that actually was quite fun." Vegeta complimented,

"But tell anyone I did see a pop group with you and I'll crush your head!"

Nappa nodded and zipped his lips shut.

"Whatever the hell that means." The saiyan prince said as they were about to leave.

Suddenly Vegeta's eye came across the weirdest tour bus he'd ever seen. The back lad a pink overlay with the words 'Hi Hi' over it yet the front of it looked like it belonged to some kind of hot rod racing car.

"Vegeta, look at that tour bus." Nappa said amazed.

"I admit, it looks quite strange." Vegeta said still confused at the design.

"What say we hotwire it?" Nappa asked with a childish smirk and started to fly over to the bus.

"Nappa, that clearly doesn't belong to us and I'm pretty sure you'll be invading private property." Vegeta warned but Nappa went in the bus anyway.

"Whoa, Vegeta! You've gotta see the inside!" Nappa shouted.

Vegeta sighed and flew in after Nappa.

When Vegeta stepped foot inside the bus it looked like every other bus with some tables, seats, controls at the front. But in the back was something quite strange. There were separate rooms for each star as each tour bus should, but there was also a bathroom, a kitchen, a gym, even a media room. Were these pop stars that rich?

"Nappa where are you?!" Vegeta shouted.

Said lovable saiyan was in the kitchen eating,

"You've gotta try this stuff. It's delicious."

"Nappa, your eating something that doesn't belong to you!" Vegeta shouted.

"But Vegeta, I'll give them back... in a couple hours." Nappa said embaressed.

Vegeta face palmed himself as he sighed,

"Sometimes I wonder if you dropped a million times on your head. Let's just get out of here and clean up your mess."

He was about to step out the door when his hand accidently opened the glove department and a little girl with blonde hair, a pink shirt and green overalls,

"Surprise!"

"GAAAH!" Vegeta yelped as he jumped back.

"Vegeta, what's wrong?!" Nappa shouted as he got to Vegeta and saw the little girl,

"Well who's this sweet little thing?"

"I'm Harmony, I'm Puffy AmiYumi's number one fan." The little girl introduced,

"I know everything about them."

Her eyes then got swirly. The saiyans were definitely getting creeped out by this girl, she seemed to be... obsessed with them. Like some psychotic stalker that won't leave you alone.

"Where are they, where are they, where are they?!" Harmony shouted and then was picked up by Vegeta.

"Okay little girl, you're definitely a few peas short of a pod." He commented.

"Or a few holes short of a swiss cheese." Nappa said,

"Which they also had in the fridge."

"Either case, your on private property and I would like to emplore you to leave if you please." Vegeta told Harmony.

"But I'm their number one fan!" Harmony shouted.

"Yeah, well I don't give a shit." Vegeta said walking out of the bus still holding Harmony,

"Your a psychopathic stalker that needs to get lost. Now do me a favor... AND GET LOST!"

He then kicked her far away into the air with his foot.

"AND DON'T COME BACK!" He shouted.

"Did you have to kick her, Vegeta?" Nappa asked.

"She was a crazy obsessed fan. They all deserve a kick in one way or another." Vegeta said smirking,

"Just like Krillin when he got obsessed with Milli Vanilli. Seriously, he couldn't tell they were lip-synching."

"Whoa, that was incredible!" Someone shouted.

Vegeta and Nappa turned to the source of the voice and saw... Puffy AmiYumi, with a very small man wearing glasses, supposedly their manager.

"You finally got that crazed 'number one fan' off our backs." The blue haired girl spoke.

"I don't know, it seemed pretty harsh." the pink haired girl frowned.

"Whatever, at least they got rid of her. My name is Kaz Harada, manager of Puffy AmiYumi. The adorable girl is Ami." The short man introduced.

"Kon'nichiwa. Sore wa anata o mitsau tame ni yorokobidesu." Ami said while bowing.

(Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you.)

"Hmph... Doyo ni." Vegeta spoke in Japanese.

"Vegeta! I had no idea you spoke japanese." Nappa said surprised.

"I dabbled a bit. What did you think I did while I was up in space training at 100 times normal gravity and above?" Vegeta asked.

"The other girl is Yumi." Kaz introduced.

Yumi made a peace sign with a normal look and said,

"Sup."

"How do you do?" Nappa asked and then shook her hand,  
"I'm Nappa, famous movie producer and that is Vegeta, he was a pri-"

Vegeta's arm then started to glow,

"Say that word and you'll regret it immediately."

Nappa immediately shut up.

"Whoa, your arm glowed. Does your glove have some kind of glowing light in it?" Ami asked interested.

"No, I was about to power my Ki Blast and blast Nappa in his head." Vegeta said crossing his arms.

"Well that's not very nice." Ami said with a sad look.

"Hmph." Vegeta went.

"Well anyway, I'm quite impressed with how you dealt with Harmony, our crazed obsessed fan. In fact, I'm wondering if you'd be interested in a job as bodyguards and roadies for the band?" Kaz asked.

"Sorry, we're not interested." Nappa said.

"Besides even if we did accept, we'd have to charge you a fee." Vegeta frowned.

"Oh well, I guess that closes that deal." Kaz quickly said.

The saiyan prince saw that look in his face. The face of a greedy man who loved money more than his own self. He thought about it and being a roadie would mean they would go to places he'd never seen before so he said,

"We'll work for free."

"Deal!" Kaz shouted and shook both Nappa and Vegeta's hands,

"Welcome to the Puffy AmiYumi band."

"It'll be very nice having you two on board." Ami said smiling.

"Just try not to mess up the place." Yumi said as she went on the bus with the rest of the crew.

"Vegeta... Do you know what this means?" Nappa asked.

"I feel I'm going to regret this but what?" Vegeta asked back.

"WE'RE MUSICAL BODYGUARDS!" Nappa shouted.

Vegeta covered his ears just in time before his idiot partner screamed,

"I knew it."

* * *

**Hark, Vegeta and Nappa have been hired as bodyguards to famous J-Pop band Puffy AmiYumi. What will this mean for our heroes? Stay tuned.**


End file.
